What is coming out?
Because a lot of people assume that a man can only love a woman and
a woman can only love a man, they often find it hard to accept that
being gay is a part of life and that gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans
people are all around. When you 'come out' , you are telling someone
what your sexuality is.
You don't have to come out,
First of all, just because you have decided on your sexuality it does
not mean you have to go around telling everyone, you might change
your mind in future anyway and there is also the fact that you must
be very careful who you tell, but most people often take the news
quite well.
Most people find that coming out makes them feel more open and
honest around people so they can talk to their friends and family
without having to be scared what they think.
Who can I trust?
If you are convinced that someone is fine with the whole gay thing,
then pluck up the courage and spit it out, you can check their
attitudes by seeing how they react to things, Talk about gay issues
even if its just an article in the newspaper, if their attitude is anti-gay
they still have an obligation accept you, knowing you are gay may even change
their views. If you think someone is going to be violent when you tell
them, then it's best to thing about it first, take them somewhere in
public where they wouldn't dare casue a scene and people are around
if things go wrong.
It's best to tell people you are close to first, but confiding in new
friends like people you meet on the internet or at a youth group can
give you the guts to tell those who are closer to you.
When should I come out?
Don't worry, there is no rush. Take your time, even if someone asks
you remember that you do not have to answer! Many people wait until
they are married with children and collecting their pension before they
tell a soul!
Coming out tips:
- Tell someone in a calm place with lots of home comforts around,
a warm drink (not alcohol), snacks and relaxing music.
- Get straight to the point, work yourself up so you don't chicken
out and get put off.
- If they react bad try to comfort them, show them you care for
them and things will never change because you're gay.
- If they react well then show them that you
appreciate it, take
them out for a meal (if you can afford it!) or buy them
something nice or even write them a card.
Tell them face to face, don't make your self wait ages for a
reply by text message, letter, phone call or email, remember
-Face to Face, unless it's impossible.
Famous Words of advice:
'I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas, I'm
still frightened by old ones' (John Cage 1912-1992)
'To be absolutely certain about one thing, one must know
everything or nothing about it' (Olin Miller)
'A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, but the
value of nothing' (Oscar Wilde)
'I haven't failed, I've just found 10,000 ways which don't work'
Albert Einstein
'Lets go outside, in the sunshine, I know you want to but you
can't say yeah' (George Michael)
'Just try not to think about the arse thing' (Vince's mum, in
Queer As Folk, 1999)
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Related Advice
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Homophobia Facts
Facing up to hatred |
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The Gay Scene
Where to go when |
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Leaving Home
Homeless LGBT's |
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University Life
Academic Queers |
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