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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 10:18 PM |
  
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ok is it just me or has any one else been told u look to girlie to be gay or one day you will meet a nice man and....or my fav ur just going tho a phase. haha 2 day i was telling one of my mates i was gay (many times in fact) and she started laughing at me.mean what does a girl have 2 do 2 get a point across!?!?! most of the time i just get my best mate 2 tell them as no one believes me lol
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 Posts: 36
 Friends: 13
 Excited
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 10:25 PM |
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I've had the 'its just a phase' which is reallyyyy annoying.
But there has also been two or three cases of the 'you're not gay, you're hair isnt short'
Which, made me laugh until i realised they were serious. haha.
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Posts: 186
Friends: 28
Brilliant
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:02 PM |
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Oh, I know that feeling! *laughs*
What's funny is that suddenly the moment I got my hair cut shorter, nobody was surprised - dispite me only doing that because I wanted it to be less fussy (it was a nightmare to straighten...took FOREVER.).
As for the 'just a phase' thing, I've been lucky enough to not have that said to me. ^_^
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:23 PM |
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well i was gonna have my hair a bit shorter in order 2 get rid of the dead-end by now my mums like u cant have short hair cos u a lesbian i was like u has mega short hair once her reply well i can cos im not gay
well it only been my mums mate who have used it just a phase line so far i mean come on has any one ever met any one who had a gay "phase" in their life?!?!?!
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:24 PM |
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Just because you're not a walking stereotype people think it's acceptable to judge you. You're right, it isn't. If people tell you it's a phase or that you must be kidding because you don't look like one - you just have to be strong and make it clear to them that how you look has no influence over who you fancy. Especially regarding 'it's just a phase' - ever thought to return the phrase to them? 'yeah well your being straight might also be a phase, does that worry you or something?!'
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:29 PM |
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very good point! guess i never looked at it like that! im very new 2 this i only came out about 7weeks ago and im still telling people one at a time what a drag lol
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Posts: 36
Friends: 13
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:30 PM |
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I like that. I will definitely use the 'straight phase' against someone. Haha! :)
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:43 PM |
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well ok hears what i think it could be some poeple mite get a bit funny about it if they think that a gay person could hang round them even b mates with them without them noticeing.if anyone gets what i mean? like just cos im gay i should stick out so that everyone can tell im gay! i think people just get uncoftable when things/people dont fix into stereotype it means they have to face that dont live it a black and white world! well thats just what i think anyways! ps my spelling suck!
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Posted: Jun 16 2009, 11:46 PM |
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That's a good point Megan, people like it when gay people look obvious because it's easier to put them into a box and say 'you're not like me, you're different and gay' but it can be a bit strange for teenagers to get used to the idea that someone who is just like them in terms of appearance and hobbies and things can be turned on by something they're not.
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 06:13 AM |
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Lol, I get this all the time. My friends did believe me, but they were all very shocked. Even though only three people in our group consider themselves completely straight. I was generally talked about as "the definitely straight one". I have affectionately adopted the title of "the unbutch dyke" now :D
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 08:19 AM |
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i hate the 'its just a phase' line.
its SO irritating, why would i go through the emotional trouble of coming out if i thought it was a phase. jesus.
but i suppose straight people must find it hard to comprehend, so i give em' a little credit as they will probablly never understand what it is like. truly.
although that said, people generally believed i was gay, i suppose they were slightly shocked becuase i dont think i fit the 'stereotypes'. but yeah, haha, i have had that! my mum was like its just becuase you havent found the RIGHT man. and im just like. no. mum, just no.
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 09:32 AM |
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But some people do just have phases. So you just have to explain that you've felt that way long enought for it to definitely not be a phase.
Occasionally if my friend tells me they're bi and they're younger than me I think it might just be a phase. Of course I wouldn't say it, I know it would be a very annoying thing to say to a person.
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 12:11 PM |
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[QUOTE] "the unbutch dyke" [QUOTE]
love it! guess there are worst titles
well maybe some people do just go thought a phase but i think it makes it harder 4 the ones of us who arent go "just go thought a phase " i think that maybe some people cant hack being out and wanna be back in Narnia where its nice and safe.just what i think! well my mega close mates said they apparently i give off a vibe lol
Edited by 33megan - Jun 17 2009, 12:13 PM
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 07:23 PM |
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i know how you feel, i've been told i look 'too straight' to be gay, blow stereotypes
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 08:36 PM |
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The "unbutch dyke" title does make me giggle.
And, tbh, what does it matter, even if it is "just a phase", it still means that for part of your life you feel that way, even if you don't always. That's what happens sometimes, it's not a bad thing. I'd just go with the flow :D
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Posted: Jun 17 2009, 09:45 PM |
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Why is the 'just a phase' thing so common?! It's rather naive on the part of the speaker, no? Got that one from my ma, but noone else.
I've now got short hair, thus fitting the aformentioned stereotype, but have been described as more androgynous. Not sure that that's a compliment in my case but it does seem to have ceased folks trying to convince me they're a 'cure'. (IMG:http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/community/html/emoticons/mental.gif) People are so easily pleased.
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Posted: Jun 18 2009, 10:07 PM |
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| QUOTE (RubyRoo @ Jun 17 2009, 09:36 PM) | | And, tbh, what does it matter, even if it is "just a phase", it still means that for part of your life you feel that way, even if you don't always. That's what happens sometimes, it's not a bad thing. I'd just go with the flow :D |
^A really, really good point.
Check out my thread "I don't believe you"... yeah, definitely know what you mean. People tell me to my face that they don't believe me. My brother, who of all people should know what it's like not to fit a stereotype (being a flamboyantly queer transguy who crossdresses), doesn't believe me. He taunts me about it, saying I must be straight, and if I say nothing he says "Ha, I knew I was right!" and if I try to insist that I am gay he says "Hmm, protesting too much?" But that's just sibling rivalry, to an extent...
People seem to have a hard time getting it through their heads that YES, you can wear makeup and have long hair and big breasts and feminine clothes and STILL be attracted to girls. Even - gasp! - other girls who ALSO wear makeup and feminine clothes and have long hair. Shock horror!
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Posted: Jun 18 2009, 10:11 PM |
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Lol...agreed. *Looks down* except that big boobs bit. I should probably try and persuade my hormone levels to work on that :P
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Posted: Jun 29 2009, 04:16 PM |
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I like getting dressed up to go out, yet its anoying, iv not yet went out casual. I guess if you seen me in my casuals you would maybe know i was gay, i dont know, its way to confusing these days. I know im not boyish, But im not the MOST girlyest.
My mum says alot of things, I just think she is older and more closed minded than my generation. Also i think... what a Tw*t. My mum says alot of things like... "Don't you want a strong man with his arm around you?" The anwer is no, she also says "If you 21 - 25 your too young to know" "Its not written in stone" and "How do you know if you havent ... with a boy" i reply... "How do you know if you havent... with a girl"
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Posted: Jun 29 2009, 06:42 PM |
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I think I'm quite lucky. I've only had that response once. It was quite funny at the time, because she stared at me for a few seconds then went "But...but...you have curly hair!" I just couldn't stop laughing. Especially after I realised she was serious. The thing I hate the most, though is when people ask why you chose not to be straight. It makes me want to throttle them!
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Posted: Jun 29 2009, 07:52 PM |
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You know whats annoying, My parents said "oh its just a phase. I mean, you haven't done anything with a girl, have you?" Well, NO. But I haven't done anything with a boy either!!!! So what, I'm just neutral until I swipe my V-card?! Bull shit! I have never truley loved a boy, but I have been head-over-heels for a girl. Who are you to tell me how this whole sexuality debocle works mum and pops?!
ugh. Parents are stupid.
Oh, btw, I have pretty short hair (like, boy short) and my best friend still forgets that I'm bent one way more then the other! Hows that for ironic?
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Posted: Jun 29 2009, 08:27 PM |
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[QUOTE]So what, I'm just neutral until I swipe my V-card?! Bull shit[QUOTE] haha love it well in my case doing that very act confirmed my gayness lol 2 hours later i told my mum i was gay that was an intresting night to say the least. funnyiest reaction i every got was my mate who say but u cant b gay ur my friend lol she is a bit of a tart but afterward she was really sweet and said she didnt care and i was still her mate
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Posted: Jun 29 2009, 08:40 PM |
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I have had the "just a phase" treatment from my family as for my friends they knew and i knew at about 15. it's relli funny cos i tried my damdest to look like all the other girls (i hated myself at one point but now i just accept it) but i didn't seem to look right but in the LGBT group i attend i'm the lipstick through and through i have the longest hair although i am planning on a hair cut i've only had it cut once since last august. stereotypes are a form of prejedice they make us believe we have to be "butch" to be a lesbian i mean we find the stereotypes held by foreigners about british people some what offensive and it is the same with the gay stereotype.
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Posted: Jul 2 2009, 09:19 PM |
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haha I've had the "It's just a phase" comment, it's definitely a frustrating one! lol
But a lot of my friends don't think I'm too girlie to be gay, they're just more surprised really, and were totally unaware of it!
Tbh, being gay has actually made me more girlier! lol Is that the same for anyone else, or am I the only one not cutting my hair short?! lol
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Posted: Jul 2 2009, 09:25 PM |
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nah i defo got more girlie round the same time i was coming to terms with my gayness now its just me and who iam!
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