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Posted: Jan 16 2010, 11:34 PM |
  
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im in a school which is homophobic and iv got some really good m8s but if they find out im gay they will probably not want to be with me but i just want to be me 100% and not act str8.
A really good m8 got me set up with a lad who is really nice and lovely and every one at school is on about girlfriends and fit lasses an i just want to turn round and say iv got a boyfriend not a gf. i dont want to be bullied like at my old school i just want a life. HELP!!!!! it feels like im in a glass bubble
thank you.
Edited by daniel skingle - Jan 16 2010, 10:41 PM
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 12:06 AM |
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parkside... i told you a bad idea... i know what ur like so dont go blabbering untill you have thought and talked it through with people at goup (n me cus im awesome)
dont feel you have to say something in a situation where there talking about girls, just nod and say yes if you have to
give it time, make sure they ARE your mates, drop it carefully into a convosation like "my mates gay" or something (not lying) and see how they respond cos then you know whether there gonna be ok with gays. DONT BLABBER LIKE YOU USUALLY DO!!!!
good luck mate n text me if u need me
Kal
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 12:10 AM |
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If your "really good mates" would turn against you they aren't very good mates at all.
Unfortunately, not many people get away with coming out at school and not having some degree of greif about it. Secondary school kids are cruel. idiotic and go along with the crowd. I think the way that both the school and the individual deals with bullying. Of course this depends on how bad the bullying is. Someone simply calling you gay or any other word meaning it might not bother you like threatening behaviour would.
Sometimes, staying in the closet during school to escape bullying is the best way to ensure you can focus on your studies and not have your grades affected. You shouldn't have to stay in the closet but sometimes its the best way. You'll probably find that once you leave school that people are more mature about it and you can be out without too much trouble. Obviously there'll be the odd moron but hopefully you can live on a day to day basis without too much hassle
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 12:16 AM |
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You're only in school for a little while. Once you leave at 16 you can go to College, where believe me, everyone is so much more open and you can be you and no one will bat an eyelid. Think of it like this, the ones who are the most homophobic at school are more likely to be gay/curious themselves and trying to hide they're own feelings of homosexuality, but they're just scared of being persecuted like you are, they just hide it in a different way. You may not realise it but once you leave school you'll see how insignificant all the worrying was, I know that doesn't help now, but trust me, things get so much better when you leave school. For now, I'd say that if your friends would leave you over something like this, that is obviously important to you, then they're not really the kind of people you want to be friends with. No doubt there will be more people than just you that are gay at your school. It depends how good a friendship you have but have you tried discussing it with a friend in private, but not talking about yourself, talk about someone famous who is gay, who you know they will have heard of? That might help for you to get a better idea of how they'd deal with it if you told them about yourself, and they're true feelings towards homosexuality, as when people are in a group they tend to act up to what is expected of them, but alone they're more likely to be open to such discussions. Try John Barrowman, if they've heard of him, the guy who played captain jack in Doctor Who and Torchwood. He's a cool guy who is openly gay. Worth a try.
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 12:24 AM |
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just to let u know im not a blabber!!!
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 01:04 AM |
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NO!!!!!!! never blabberd NEVER
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Posted: Jan 17 2010, 01:18 AM |
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Dan, this has always been a question I've found difficult to see a solution to, but thankfully there are people here who have done a very good job of doing so.
I don't like to give examples from my own life because you don't want to know about me here and now, that's not the point of this thread (we were actually taught that in some special lessons in sixth form regarding mentoring), but I think it depends on a few things.
Not one person knew I was trans when I was at school and I actually saw myself as one person setting up an ideal life for another. There were some dodgy people in my year, so I knew I was doing the right thing. Hiding sucks, but what is the lesser of two evils?
I think I've learned a lot from reading this thread as well as you may have done. Especially follow that advice Elliot gave about exactly how homophobic people might think, because it's a really good point. Kudos to it. Everything else that's been said is good too.
Good luck whatever you do.
Laura
Edited by Laura53 - Jan 17 2010, 12:18 AM
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