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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 09:37 PM |
  
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Thanks, David
Edited by Laura53 - Dec 29 2009, 08:38 PM
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 09:40 PM |
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You're a star, David! <3
And thank you, Laura! C:
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 10:06 PM |
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Can we call the next one, 'Trangst: the Return of the Trangst'?
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 10:17 PM |
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huh? what was wrong with the old trangst?
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 10:18 PM |
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| QUOTE (Nathan Dorian @ Dec 29 2009, 08:40 PM) | | ETA: I have sent this complaint to the West Essex PCT... |
while it does suck you had a shit experience, she may not have realised HOW slow it had to be done - a lot of intramuscular injections have to be done slowly, but nebido is certainly the slowest. i've broken the vial before when opening sustanon - it's a (usually) harmless mistake, and unfortunately quite easy to do if you just happen to get your finger in the wrong place when opening it. it's also worth noting that general practise of injecting does not require sterilising the area with alcohol - no nurse i know of has ever done this for me, and i never was advised to do it myself when i self injected sustanon. so shes under no obligation to do that.
by all means complain if you feel it was that bad, but to me it sounds more like she just didnt realise HOW slow 'slow' was compared to a normal oil-based injection, and she made a few additional unfortunate errors, but none of it sounded deliberate or out of the ordinary. a few nurses have made conversation with me about stuff to do with my injection - if people ask you questions about your treatment, you are welcome to decline to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. i just think it's a shame that the nurse you saw is going to get reprimanded for something that could easily be corrected by telling her then or next time you see her (i.e, that wasn't slow enough!), in a less formal fashion.
i have no idea why she didnt just change the needle to the right one after she drew up though - there shouldnt have been any need to start all over again.
but yeah, often i've found i need to advise medical practitioners a little - after all, i have the treatment every few weeks/months, for them it may be the first time they have dealt with this drug. next time i'd just run it by them in a bit more detail ('could you inject it as slow as possible? its meant to take a few minutes') and you shouldnt have as much of a problem.
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:04 PM |
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I'd tend to agree with what Somebody said:
sterelisation isn't mandetory. Nurses I've dealt with in the past have said that if you're "street clean" (ie you aren't covered in mud/dirt) then you don't need to sterelise the injection site. Also, the nurse walking into the room happens a lot. They knock, and open the door to see if the room is free. It might be awkward, but the nurse doing your injection couldn't help that. Also, the vials are really easy to break. I've had nurses break them before, and so have I - it doesn't mean she's incompitant or doing anything wrong. If the questions she asked made you uncomfortable, then by all means complain, but the points I mentioned aren't really things she did wrong.
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Posts: 1506
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:14 PM |
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Just so things make sense -
Before David's original post here I said something along the lines of "Well done nathan for having your say, that sounded like very poor practice" but for some reason it's not here anymore.
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Posts: 1506
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:15 PM |
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| QUOTE (tiresias @ Dec 29 2009, 09:17 PM) | | huh? what was wrong with the old trangst? |
It was getting too long for the board to handle and when I replied my post didn't show.
Please see the thread "Bug Reports".
Edited by Laura53 - Dec 29 2009, 10:17 PM
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:26 PM |
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If you read my post, you can see that the basis of the complaint is entirely the actual injection (specifically the length and some slight unprofessionalism regarding just randomly shoving it in), and her failure to do it properly.
I do not know how much a nurse knows about the drug they are injecting, especially if they ask zero questions about it. I am the patient, it is not my job to tell her everything when I am completely unaware that she doesn't know how long it is meant to take.
She made it sound like she knew, and she didn't. That resulted in a lot of pain and worry for me. She was very confident, I trusted her, and she did something potentially dangerous.
Apologies if you do not agree with my decision, but - every single NHS nurse I have ever met has manhandled me like that and they get away with this day after day at that centre and also the hospital next to it.
I made a complaint about the job she did, that is how you improve a service.
I'll be getting my next 2-3 injections at least from Dr. Curtis.
Edited by Nathan Dorian - Dec 29 2009, 11:33 PM
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:35 PM |
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| QUOTE (Pilgrim @ Dec 29 2009, 10:06 PM) | | Can we call the next one, 'Trangst: the Return of the Trangst'? |
Haha awesome :')
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:35 PM |
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| QUOTE | | I am the patient, it is not my job to tell her everything when I am completely unaware that she doesn't know how long it is meant to take. |
no, but she cant know whether or not its hurting you/is uncomfortable if you dont tell her. Thats often why they do ask 'does it hurt?' or 'does it hurt more at beginning/towards end of shot'.
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Posted: Dec 29 2009, 11:45 PM |
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| QUOTE (Nathan Dorian @ Dec 29 2009, 10:26 PM) | If you read my post, you can see that the basis of the complaint is entirely the actual injection (specifically the length and some slight unprofessionalism regarding just randomly shoving it in), and her failure to do it properly.
I do not know how much a nurse knows about the drug they are injecting, especially if they ask zero questions about it. I am the patient, it is not my job to tell her everything when I am completely unaware that she doesn't know how long it is meant to take.
She made it sound like she knew, and she didn't. That resulted in a lot of pain and worry for me. She was very confident, I trusted her, and she did something potentially dangerous.
Apologies if you do not agree with my decision, but - every single NHS nurse I have ever met has manhandled me like that and they get away with this day after day at that centre and also the hospital next to it.
I made a complaint about the job she did, that is how you improve a service. |
it may not be your job, but its unrealistic to expect the nurse to know every detail of every medication they come across. part of receiving adequate medical care (particularly when you are trans or have an uncommon ailment), unfortunately, involves being able to advocate for yourself - be it explaining how to administer your medication in a way that makes you feel comfortable (bare in mind some people wouldnt have much effect from a quick injection as everyones bodies are different), telling someone when a question is inappropriate, or if you feel something is missing from your care (like an alcohol swab, for instance), asking them. it's what they're there for. if you don't make it clear you/your medication are a special case, the nurse isn't going to treat it like one. yes, complaining might change things (maybe that nurse will get a telling off), but a better way to change things is to talk to each medical practitioner who is assigned to your care about what your needs are. it is very unlikely it says anywhere on the nebido packet (i'm almost sure it doesnt, but i dont remember) that you need to inject it for x amount of time - so if you feel it needs an assigned amount of time, tell someone. they can't read minds, and they're unlikely to have received a 4ml dose of oily testosterone in the arse, so probably have no idea how it feels to get it injected quickly.
if the basis of your complaint is the injection alone, then perhaps you should have left out all of the additional unnecessary details from your complaint letter. it seemed more like you were building a case against a woman for some very minor flaws, is all.
for what its worth, i dont think there's any danger at all, just a slightly sore muscle.
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Posted: Dec 30 2009, 02:22 AM |
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I'm Considering to transition, i don't think i can carry on living without hating, loathing myself i know that for a fact, the idea of becoming more, masculine as time goes on scares me, but I'm also worried about transitioning, i keep reading about the things that people transitioning go through and I'm also worried that i might not even pass when i'm done, i, i just don't know what to do.
and lastly i want to tell me dad, i love him but i'm terrified of him saying that what I'm going through is rubbish or worse him hating me, never wanting me to come back home, even kicking me out and i know he will react negatively since that's how he reacted to that news story on TV on that girl that had SRS.
what do i do?
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Posted: Dec 30 2009, 12:52 PM |
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| QUOTE (Claska @ Dec 30 2009, 02:22 AM) | | what do i do? |
We can't tell you what to do. Most parents react badly at first, but a lot of them come around later when they realise they risk losing their kid.
As for whether transition is right for you: only you can decide that. You have to find who you are at your core and remain true to that identity in all your affairs, whoever you find yourself to be.
Drop Jennie (DarkJenso) a PM for a proper natter. She's good.
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Posts: 1506
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Posted: Dec 30 2009, 12:52 PM |
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Hi Claska,
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I'm Considering to transition, i don't think i can carry on living without hating, loathing myself i know that for a fact, the idea of becoming more, masculine as time goes on scares me,
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That's a perfectly normal thing for anyone trans, it's not like we want to get older and become MORE of something we're not.
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but I'm also worried about transitioning, i keep reading about the things that people transitioning go through and I'm also worried that i might not even pass when i'm done, i, i just don't know what to do
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In a way it's good that you worry, because it means you care about the risks involved. You're not rushing into it blindly, you're doing it the sensible way. You're also considering who might get hurt emotionally.
I've seen your profile and your pic looks really good, I don't think you'll have much trouble there.
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and lastly i want to tell me dad, i love him but i'm terrified of him saying that what I'm going through is rubbish or worse him hating me, never wanting me to come back home, even kicking me out and i know he will react negatively since that's how he reacted to that news story on TV on that girl that had SRS.
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I don't know what news story you're talking about there, but it doesn't matter. What matters is what you've described about your dad. Does he perhaps think that this is something that people just decide to have one day on a whim? That they're fed up with one sex so they decide on trying the other? It's important to be aware that this is not the case - it's a really deep part of people we are talking about - gender dysphoria is actually a recognised medical condition that is treatable on the NHS and I don't mean to scare you or anyone, but people as a consequence can become depressed, so much so in fact they can be a danger to themselves and others. All due respect to your Dad, but it sounds like he might be a little misinformed and his views might change if he knew the facts.
There are organisations out there that deal with Parents of trans people, most notably PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) - I know Trans isn't in the acronym but believe me they do cater for trans people as well, it would just ruin a nice acronym if they put a T in I suppose.
There's also Mermaids which has a parents section - they're a charity that deals with gender dysphoric teens and I've been a part of them for quite a while.
How long will it be before you can become fully independent of your Dad? If getting kicked out is that much of a risk then it might be best to wait until you have that independence, but I can't answer that one for you - it is entirely how bad your feelings are and whether or not you feel you can cope for that amount of time. If the worst should happen, try looking up The Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT) as they provide places of residence for trans people.
All the best,
Laura
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Posted: Dec 30 2009, 11:34 PM |
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ahh, if only changing your name in real life was as easy as it is on facebook...
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Posted: Dec 30 2009, 11:38 PM |
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| QUOTE (Tsondru @ Dec 30 2009, 11:34 PM) | | ahh, if only changing your name in real life was as easy as it is on facebook... |
too true Ro! :(
I'm hoping to get mine changed in January properly. Sick of hearing birthname all the time and at least when i get it changed nobody in my family will have the excuse to use my old name anymore! *hugs*
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 12:00 AM |
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| QUOTE (AlexJames @ Dec 30 2009, 10:38 PM) | | QUOTE (Tsondru @ Dec 30 2009, 11:34 PM) | | ahh, if only changing your name in real life was as easy as it is on facebook... |
too true Ro! :(
I'm hoping to get mine changed in January properly. Sick of hearing birthname all the time and at least when i get it changed nobody in my family will have the excuse to use my old name anymore! *hugs* |
i think i'll have to TELL my family first.
well, tell my mum again and try and make sure she doesn't conveniently forget the conversation.
but that's awesome for you! =]
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Posts: 634
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 12:16 AM |
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| QUOTE (AlexJames @ Dec 30 2009, 10:38 PM) | | QUOTE (Tsondru @ Dec 30 2009, 11:34 PM) | | ahh, if only changing your name in real life was as easy as it is on facebook... |
too true Ro! :(
I'm hoping to get mine changed in January properly. Sick of hearing birthname all the time and at least when i get it changed nobody in my family will have the excuse to use my old name anymore! *hugs* |
I am sick of hearing your birthname and seeing the effect it has on you :(
But it will be awesome when they can't call you it. At least then you don't have to answer when your dad yells it.
It was horrible when he did that when we were so intermit!
(IMG:http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/community/html/emoticons/explode.gif)
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 03:13 PM |
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I went shopping yesterday, was looking forward to it for ages. I needed some smartish shoes and a shirt or two. but whenever I picked up something I liked my mum would go 'but that's for boys, you're a lady, you have to buy pretty things' and other similar bollocks. I ended up buying nothing and hating myself and my parents. I'm an adult for Christ's sake, I should be able to buy what I like without supposedly liberal parents making me feel like hell.
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 03:24 PM |
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| QUOTE (em-jay @ Dec 31 2009, 02:13 PM) | | I went shopping yesterday, was looking forward to it for ages. I needed some smartish shoes and a shirt or two. but whenever I picked up something I liked my mum would go 'but that's for boys, you're a lady, you have to buy pretty things' and other similar bollocks. I ended up buying nothing and hating myself and my parents. I'm an adult for Christ's sake, I should be able to buy what I like without supposedly liberal parents making me feel like hell. |
Perhaps we'll have to do it properly if we ever met, AJ.
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 03:37 PM |
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| QUOTE (em-jay @ Dec 31 2009, 02:13 PM) | | whenever I picked up something I liked my mum would go 'but that's for boys, you're a lady, you have to buy pretty things' and other similar bollocks. I ended up buying nothing and hating myself and my parents. I'm an adult for Christ's sake, I should be able to buy what I like without supposedly liberal parents making me feel like hell. |
This makes me feel so lucky...
I bought my own clothes since the age of like, 12? I don't think my parents really noticed what I was wearing tbh. I don't get parents who are all mumsy and poke their nose into every area of their kids lives, it must suck. *hugs*
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 07:56 PM |
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I'm about to go to a New Year do with my parents and I'm actually feeling really low and emotional, which kind of contradicts what I put in Spit it Out yesterday. I know there will be girls there all looking nice and there will be me sitting at a table with Mum and Dad...
I'm not going to make this my last post of the decade. I'll find another thread...
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Posted: Dec 31 2009, 08:14 PM |
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My mum just called me 'sweetheart'. I said i didn't want to be called that. She asked what i wanted. I said i wanted to be her son. Then she said, 'but in my mind, you'll always be my daughter'. Bearing in mind I'm out to her and my immediate family know that i'm trans.
So it's not like she doesn't KNOW how much hearing these things upsets me when i've told her before.
Whats the point in anything if even close family can't accept you as the person you really are?
Trangst much :(
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