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Coming Out
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At some point in your life your sexuality will come into question, whether it be by friends, colleagues or family, if your LGBT and young you've got a lot of 'coming out' ahead of you, so our coming out zone is designed to help you to come out in the best way that suites you...
What is coming out?
Because a lot of people assume that a man can only love a woman and a woman can only love a man, they often find it hard to accept that being gay is a part of life and that gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans people are all around. When you 'come out' , you are telling someone what your sexuality is.
You don't have to come out,
First of all, just because you have decided on your sexuality it does not mean you have to go around telling everyone, you might change your mind in future anyway and there is also the fact that you must be very careful who you tell, but most people often take the news quite well.
Most people find that coming out makes them feel more open and honest around people so they can talk to their friends and family without having to be scared what they think.
Who can I trust?
If you are convinced that someone is fine with the whole gay thing, then pluck up the courage and spit it out, you can check their attitudes by seeing how they react to things, Talk about gay issues even if its just an article in the newspaper, if their attitude is anti-gay they still have an obligation accept you, knowing you are gay may even change their views.
If you think someone is going to be violent when you tell them, then it's best to thing about it first, take them somewhere in public where they wouldn't dare casue a scene and people are around if things go wrong.
It's best to tell people you are close to first, but confiding in new friends like people you meet on the internet or at a youth group can give you the guts to tell those who are closer to you.
When should I come out?
Don't worry...there is NO rush!
Coming out is like a box of pringles, once you start you just can't stop. but you can take a break, and it's available in many flavours!
Take your time, you have a whole lifetime to do it. You don't owe 'coming out' to anyone, don't feel guilty or ashamed, feel proud that YOU know even if someone asks you remember that you do not have to answer! Many people wait until they are married with children and collecting their pension before they tell a soul!
QYN's Coming Out Tips:
Tell someone in a calm place with lots of home comforts around, a warm drink (not alcohol), snacks and relaxing music.
Get straight to the point, excuse the pun!... work yourself up so you don't chicken out and get put off.
If they react bad try to comfort them, show them you care for them and things will never change because you're gay.
If they react well then show them that you appreciate it, take them out for a meal (if you can afford it!) or buy them something nice or even write them a card.
Tell them face to face, don't make your self wait ages for a reply by text message, letter, phone call or email, remember -Face to Face, unless it's impossible.
Famous Words of advice:
'I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas, I'm still frightened by old ones' (John Cage 1912-1992)
'To be absolutely certain about one thing, one must know everything or nothing about it' (Olin Miller)
'A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing' (Oscar Wilde)
'I haven't failed, I've just found 10,000 ways which don't work' (Albert Einstein)
'Lets go outside, in the sunshine, I know you want to but you can't say yeah' (George Michael)
'Just try not to think about the arse thing!' (Vince's mum, in Queer As Folk UK, 1999)
Written excusivley for Queer Youth Overground by David Joseph Henry ::: 24/05/02 Copyright.
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Last updated
by: David on 28th July 2008
Last viewed by: Guest | 12858 Total Views | |
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